


Wargs with Wheels

by Jellyfiggles



Category: The Hobbit (2012), The Hobbit (2012) RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Eventual size kink, Fluff, Hopefully some humour, I honestly don't live in London, M/M, RPF, Slash, Stuck in the real world
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-03-17
Updated: 2013-03-23
Packaged: 2017-12-05 15:01:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,147
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/724621
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jellyfiggles/pseuds/Jellyfiggles
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fill for the Hobbit Kink Meme;</p><p>'Fili ends up in modern time somehow and runs into Aidan, a regular guy with a boring life. They fall in love, despite their extremely weird situation.'</p><p>Modern AU set in London where Aidan is a theatre student and Fili is lost and thinks cars are really magical wargs. There will be slash eventually.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Fili ends up in modern time somehow and runs into Aidan, a regular guy with a boring life. They fall in love, despite their extremely weird situation.  
> +100000 for Fili being scared and distrustful of modern life (cars for example) and for Aidan being protective and helping Fili through all this trauma and explaining everything.  
> +10000000 for size kink cause well, Fíli is a dwarf
> 
> Prompt: http://hobbit-kink.livejournal.com/5346.html?thread=11903202#t11903202

(So I am venturing into RPF fic for the first time... please be gentle? AU set in modern day London where Aidan is a low-level theatre student and takes in a rather lost and terrified dwarf.)

 

They had passed the touristy shops in the centre and reached the point in London where there were more flats and houses than skyscrapers. Aidan groaned as he pressed his palm to the stop button and wrenched himself out of his seat. The bus was crowded with grouchy, tired Londoners on their way home from work and he had to squeeze past the group standing by the wheelchair area as the bus slid to a stop.

The doors opened to a blast of cold air and he shivered, stumbling onto the pavement with one hand on his backpack and the other adjusting his scarf. The bus rumbled past and he pointedly ignored the people staring at him, bored. So much for spring; the air was bitterly cold and his breath puffed out in a grey mist. British. Fucking. Weather.

At least Luke’s house wasn’t far, only a few streets from the main road. Aidan huffed and headed down the road, passing the bright florescent lighting of Zed’s Kebab Place and the grimy-looking Newsagents. The street was packed, the traffic in the grip of rush hour and buses full of commuters squeezing into the bus stops with hisses and wheezes.

Aidan mentally runs through the contents of his bag, checking to see if he has everything. Pens, notebook, script, wallet, and a crappy version of Midsummer’s Nights Dream on DVD: yeah, pretty much everything. He’s never been fond of Shakespeare; not in secondary school when his English teachers gushed over the plays and analysed them to death, and not now in university when he has to actually read the weird language aloud.

He fished his mobile from his jeans pocket, the screen lighting up. 18.24pm, 2 missed calls... Shit. Luke was probably wondering where the hell he was, he’d forgotten to turn the sound back on after class. He was in the middle of a text when someone barrelled into him.

There is always at least one moment of clarity during a fall. There’s the sudden realisation that you are falling, the moment you try to pinwheel your arms, jerking your legs to stay upright. And then the unconscious moments your arms move to brace your fall and the abrupt bang as parts of your anatomy slam into the ground. 

Aidan yelped as he fell, and the fall jarred his back, ass, calves and palms backing onto the pavement. He was dazed for a moment before becoming aware not only of the stings and aches from the impact, but also of the heavy weight pressing him down. He coughed and opened his eyes- yelping as he came face to face with the sharp blade of a knife and a short bloke with ridiculously long braided hair and a scowl on his face.

Aidan felt his eyes widen and he raised his hands slowly, palms up. “He-hey easy now mate.” Well this was just great; he was going to die, as an undergraduate loser at the hands of some crazed dwarf. All he had in his wallet was a couple of pennies and his uni card, hardly worth being knifed for surely?

A car drove past suddenly and bloke jumped, scrabbling off of him and back from the road, his eyes wide with terror. Drunk, drugged, just plain nuts? Aidan didn’t know and didn’t want to find out. He struggled to his knees, torn between keeping an eye on the short man and looking for his mobile. It had flown from his hand when he’d fallen and he couldn’t see it.

“What was that contraption? It sounded like orcs roaring in battle.” The dwarf’s voice was rough and oddly sincere. He looked to Aidan, hand sheathing his knife. He was dressed bizarrely, some kind of period costume and he was younger than Aidan had first reckoned, somewhere in his early twenties. His brows furrowed and he stared at Aidan as though he really expected an answer.

“A car, you know, box with wheels?” he couldn’t keep the sarcasm from his voice, huffing through his nose as he searched the ground, painfully aware of the freezing pavement under his knees and shins.

“A cur? Not like any dog I have seen, not with those strange white eyes. Perhaps it was an orc device, designed from their wargs?” Aidan looked up from where he had been checking the gutter. Whatever this bloke was on, it was scary stuff. The dwarf stood and he was only slightly taller than Aidan on his knees. He reached out; hand wrapped around his phone “Are you looking for this?”

“Yeah, thanks.” Aidan took his mobile from the dwarf, getting to his feet and grunting as pain laced up his spine. The screen was cracked but it seemed to work fine and he breathed a sigh of relief. Another car sped past and the dwarf yelped, stumbling forwards to grip his arm, his knife flashing out again.

“Calm down! It’s just a car, it won’t hurt you! Jesus Christ.” The dwarf relaxed marginally, staring up at him in disbelief and distrust. The grip on his arm didn’t grow any less firm however and the dwarf looked around for a moment, his face crumbling into confusion and fear. “I do not know where Kili is. One moment we were fighting goblins and there was a flash of light and suddenly I was here. I do not know where here is.” He met Aidan’s eyes, gaze at once pleading and proudly defiant.

Aidan’s phone rang, he lifted it to his ear without breaking eye contact “...Luke? Hi! Yeah, just, sorry. I don’t think I can make it tonight... Sorry, something happened... nah don’t worry, see you tomorrow.” He clicked the phone off. “I don’t think I should leave you out here by yourself. If I take you back to my place, will you promise not to murder me in my sleep?”

The dwarf laughed, slapping his arm with his palm. “Give you my word lad. Now where am I? Gondor?”

TBC...


	2. Chapter 2

**Trigger Warnings:** Swearing, use of the word ‘midget’ and other derogatory language against people with dwarfism

(This chapter is tiny and kind of lame, my apologies for that)

 

Getting the dwarf onto the bus home had been fun. Oh, very, very _fun_. Thank god he’d managed to convince the bloke that the bus wasn’t about to kill them before the dwarf pulled out a knife. He couldn’t imagine that would have gone over well with the driver.

As it was, the dwarf was crouched on his seat, fingers pressed to his knife’s sheath as he cocked his head. His eyes darted in suspicious glances at their fellow passengers and Aidan cringed in his seat, avoiding the stares. At every ‘ping’ of the stopping bell, the dwarf jolted and he had to grip the bloke’s shoulder to stop him from jumping.

A 25 minute trip grinded down into what seemed an hour or more as their levels of stress rose, his in mortification and the dwarf’s in anxiety and hostility. When they finally approached his stop, Aidan fumbled desperately for the stop button. The resounding ‘bing’ sounded better than any sound had before.

Getting the dwarf off the bus was also _fun_. Oh, once he was coaxed off the chair he was reasonably docile, but he growled at people as they hurried down the aisle and Aidan worried he might lose it. The hiss of the doors closing behind them was a relief and Aidan sighed, running a hand through his hair. 

The dwarf was silent, simply staring around them in wonder. The bus stop was thankfully on a quieter stretch of road, not outside any of the shops and the lack of people allowed them a few moments peace. “What is this structure? It lacks a wall.” The dwarf pressed his palms to the fibreglass of the bus stop wall.

Aidan groaned. “It’s a bus stop, a bus shelter. Keeps the rain off while people wait for the bus.” He pointed to the bus they had just gotten off, which was almost out of sight, “that thing was a bus.”

The dwarf looked fascinated, “And men ride these... buh-says to places? A moving room for so many travellers, where are the horses that pull it?” He seemed more confident suddenly, back straightening and he flicked his braids over his shoulder with a shake of his head.

Aidan laughed, he couldn’t help it. He bent over, wheezing as he laughed, until his sides and chest ached. “Ha- There- ka-aha hah- there aren’t any horses. Nobody rides horses in London but the police. Uh hah hum.” He coughed, and looked up to meet the eyes of an unimpressed dwarf, the bloke’s arms folded and his face drawn into a frown.

Aidan cleared his throat, straightening up. “Look, let’s just back to my place alright? It’s not far.” He gestured to a street to their right and was glad the bloke didn’t protest, the dwarf simply following him with plodding steps and a rustle of heavy fabric.

The streets were quiet, occasionally someone would lock their car and cross their paths to get to their house, but as was usual in the antisocial manner of London, they didn’t acknowledge their presence. The dwarf, and it occurred to Aidan suddenly he didn’t actually know the bloke’s _name_ , poked at a parked car. “The beast sleeps” he muttered, and Aidan stifled a chuckle.

The shared house he lives in really isn’t too far away and he pauses outside the gate. It’s a student house and the ‘garden’ is a mess of overgrown weeds and the recycling container filled with empty pizza boxes. It occurs to him that perhaps bringing a violent, crazy bloke back to his house really wasn’t a good idea. He can’t imagine his housemates; Jess, Gurvinder and Craig, would be chilled about this.

He sighed, shoving his key in the lock. It wasn’t like the bloke was going to stay the night; Aidan was just going to google the nearest homeless agency... or psychiatric hospital. The guy thought cars were monsters and had tried to knife him after all!

They are greeted by the sounds of clinking glasses, laughter and the telly blaring out Live at the Apollo. The dwarf recoiled, hands again reaching for his weapons and Aidan sighed. “It’s my friends so don’t get your knife out.” The bloke looked irritated but did as he was told, instead following him inside with a few mutters in a language that Aidan couldn’t understand, but certainly sounded derogatory.

They weren’t expecting him back so soon, and the surprise shows on their faces as he enters the living room. “What are you doing back so early?” Jess stretches, almost knocking her laptop from her lap.

Aidan shrugs, “Found this bloke wandering around. He seemed really confused and lost. Didn’t think I could leave him so...” It suddenly seems a ridiculous and stupid idea. Who on earth brings some crazy person back to their house? And Jess’ face mirrors the thought.

“You brought some random man back to our house? What if he’s some psycho?” She frowns, dark hair slipping out of her hair-band and falling around her face.

Craig and Gurvinder have set their glasses down on the coffee table, next to Craig’s rather dirty foot. “Is he here?” Craig asks, craning his head as though to look behind Aidan into the hallway.

The dwarf, at that moment, decided to swagger past Aidan into the room. Their reactions were as expected; Craig gave a bark of shocked laughter, Gurvinder stifled a chuckle and Jess simply gaped, like a fish out of water. The dwarf’s confident air faltered and he stepped back.

Craig, unfortunately, regained the use of his voice first. “What the fuck Aidan, where the fuck did you find a midget?” He stood, towering over the dwarf and Aidan stepped forwards, feeling rather protective. “He’s tiny mate, and look at that mad beard, like a fucking leprechaun or something.”

Aidan rolled his eyes, “He’s not a fucking leprechaun, he’s a short bloke, that’s all there is to it.” He folded his arms, frowning at Craig as his housemate stepped towards the dwarf. “Don’t be a dick Craig.”

“What’s your name?” Jess smiled, addressing the dwarf.

The dwarf turned towards her with a smile of his own. “Fili, at your service.” And he gave a bow, his braids bouncing.

Craig and Gurvinder couldn’t contain their laughter and even Jess had to stifle a giggle. Fili did not look impressed and Aidan patted his shoulder. “So, let’s get you a drink shall we?” Anything to get that murderous look off the dwarf’s face.

TBC...


End file.
